pipistrellafelix: (find x)
About a week ago I scribbled something in my journal about theater. I can't find it now, but I remember saying that it was something like falling madly in love with an entire play & then getting your heart broken so you're free to fall in love with the next one. I don't know that I articulated it all that well. I do know that I spent more time than I wanted to last night in tears, that one weekend was clearly not enough (that I miss everything about it already), & that I loved doing this play more than I can possibly explain. I'm not going to try. I need to get ready for work--time to rejoin the real world. But maybe it was good for me--as upsetting as the end was--to remember what it's like to get to do theater that takes over my soul like that. Ultimately, that's what it ought to be, I think.
pipistrellafelix: (ship)
(i wrote this last night, in a bit of a haze....)

i've done a lot of theater, which means i've done a lot of opening nights. & i don't know if i've ever been happier or prouder of an opening night—or of a whole play—than this one. damn, but it was amazing in every way...everyone was just incredible onstage, the audience was responsive & smart--we could hear them thinking! & when patrick handed me the candle & said, “be careful with the flame,” someone in the front row said in a sort of strangled whisper, “she dies!” i took way too long with my next line because i was so pleased. just...the whole show. everything. so good.

& then patrick shot a dead nazi, noel & joel ate a bowl of clams in about thirty seconds, kelley introduced our turtle to the waitress (best waitress ever, by the way), & i nearly fell asleep over an alcoholic fresca. it was a good night.

(& now it's the next morning. time for me to really wake up, pretend what i just ate is enough breakfast for me, take a shower & get my ass over to the theater. two shows today! huzzah!)
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
Every time I do this show I become more and more convinced that this, ultimately, is what I have to do with my life, must do. Not "must" for predetermination, but "must" because it is perfect.
I am in real danger of having a complete breakdown at the end of this weekend. But before that--opening night! & a bunch of shows! Y'all had better come....
pipistrellafelix: (ship)
There is something about having properly curly hair that makes me feel like I can take on the world, & bedamned anyone who wants to get in my way. Also, goddamn but Arcadia is the most amazing play & just rocks my planet. I feel like I'm falling in love with the entire world when I'm onstage--and when I'm offstage, watching other people. God, theater....

Over the course of several bus rides yesterday & today I read J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey...the first part, "Franny," made me terribly discontent & upset, & then the second part, "Zooey," turned it around utterly & very nearly made me cry at parts, because it sounded so true. I think that's part of Salinger...you have to read him at just the right time for that story, or it does nothing for you. I've heard lots of people say that about Catcher in the Rye; for me, I happened to read it at exactly the right time for the story to resonate with me in the way I think it was intended to. F&Z was the same way. It shook me up a little, but ultimately it sounded true. I want to write true. Even if it's not real, I want to write truth. (Sometimes, you know, fiction is far truer than what really happened.)

ARCADIA opens Friday! Come see my show. I mean it. I've never meant it so much.
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
I am all afire with good theater today. We had rehearsal, at which everyone was so stupendously fantastic I can't even describe...and god, that last moment today was theater magic; the music ended and the lights dimmed and Emily & I blew out the candles in perfect synchronization--& it will probably never be quite that perfect again, but I don't care, because it was beautiful. (If I hear Shana crying, I know it's good.) This show is going to be amazing. It is already amazing, & once we sort out the last few tech bits & get a few more runs under our collective belt, it'll be even more amazing.

& then I hopped a ride with Patrick & snuck into School for Scandal at SSC as an usher (I walked up & said, Hi, if someone doesn't show, can I usher? & Tom said, I'll just write you in. Hah.). The show was so much fun—three hours that didn't feel like three hours because it was such fast-paced, well-enunciated ridiculous language-filled hilarity. Also, I really want to work with Stephanie Shine. & MJ Siber. & SSC at all. & I really can't be in any shows because they rehearse during the day & next year I'll still be in school but dammit, I want to do their generals in August anyhow.

& before the show, while we were hanging out behind the concessions counter, Patrick & I were having conversations that just set my brain on fire, about plans for theater & SPT alumni & how fresh radical kids need places to be fresh & amazing so they can be snapped up by the big theaters & make way for the next fresh faces...which in a few years will be us. Oh, goody.

& on that note, here's the info for Arcadia. If you're on my friendslist you're probably either already in the show, or somehow involved with the Bathhouse, or aren't in Seattle. But as a reminder...& for those lucky few who are in Seattle, here you go:

FREE, GOOD THEATER!
Arcadia by Tom Stoppard
Directed by Shana Bestock, acted by SPT Youth alums
Preview Thursday, June 28 @ 7pm
Friday, June 29 @ 7pm
Saturday, June 30 @ 2pm & 7pm
Sunday, July 1 @ 2pm & 7pm

At the Bathhouse on Greenlake: 7312 W Green Lake Dr N

We've all put blood, sweat & tears (sometimes literally) into this show, & it's more important to me than I can explain. It would mean a lot for you to come (yes, you. & you. & you, too). & did I mention it's FREE? So no excuses. Please come.
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
I find it kind of funny that the minute I get out of school & claim to be done (done, done) with academia for three months, I wind up entangled in a character who just wants to know everything & will stop at nothing to get questions answered. I do mean entangled. Thomasina is getting to me. I read an article this morning in the paper about time travel & another about quantum mechanics & it just made me thirsty for more. I want to go to the library & look up Newton & heat equations. I want to do math, my god, do I want to do math--I've forgotten all my calculus that I spent so long that summer learning, & I hate that. If it were possible to go & add a math or bio minor at this point I would. I miss science. The logic of history & lit crit, as much as I like it, is not the same as the logic of math and science...& I miss that.

So I'm going to do math. & search out science blogs (Dad's already sending me some--try this one on for size: is this art?, or this one: like Thomasina, but older?), & go to the library for everything. Maybe I'll just re-teach myself calculus. I did it once. I can do it again.

God, my brain hurts, in the best way. I love this.
pipistrellafelix: (university of hamleting)
Oh Arcadia! How I do love thee. Also, how I do love picky rehearsals, nagging over particular pieces and lines and moments until they're--not perfect, really, but as perfect as imperfect live theater can ever be.

And the memorial tonight was...not nearly as bizarre as I thought (read: feared) it would be. I'm not sure I needed the closure, per se (I sort of came to that on my own), but it was still good to go.

& I drove Cozy to the airport--& we said, Goodbye, see you in IRELAND!


& I have been reading Pamela Dean's Tam Lin--I spent a good chunk of the afternoon sitting in grandpa's chair in the kitchen, just reading--& I had forgotten how amazing it is to just lose myself in a story. (Not to mention a story that has nothing to do with John Donne, Margaret of Anjou, political theory, analyzing history or monarchs. Except for fairy ones, I think, but I haven't got there yet.)

My mind has been a little vague. A little wandering, going places I don't want to follow lately. It's coming back, though. For some reason, the memorial jolted me a little back into place.
pipistrellafelix: (drawing)
Chapter Five, wherein Arcadia takes over my brain. Wherein I have inexplicable desires to solve maths problems, can't stop saying lines (whether they're mine or not) & spend inordinate amounts of time playing with ideas of character, motivation & whatever the hell happened offstage, when I ought to be writing my finals.
As You didn't grab me in this way--it goes back to Three Sisters before this happens--I'd forgotten what it's like to be mentally eaten alive by a play & to fall in love with words & ideas & things that don't really exist.
pipistrellafelix: (ship)
Today I had my last writing center client of the quarter, & refused to sign up for finals sessions. (I am coming in Wednesday to enter data. I feel like I've given enough to this place.)
Also, I had my last Donne class, & then kept running into Jen everywhere on campus (I am going to miss sitting with her & John & Jake & being smart-asses in the corner*).
& I think I was productive on something? But I forgot.
& then there was Arcadia rehearsal, & man oh man, this play is ever funny & amazing. & this cast is gold. I am so incredibly excited to watch this all come together.
& then I met Cozy, & we choreographed for an hour & now we have a final.

& I am tired, tired, tired, & there is no point to this post, so I will stop. Maybe more coherence later? Maybe.

(* A smart ass corner seems to be a feature of McDowell's classes. I blame it on him. He only invites it. I told him today that what we really learn in his class is how to take it & how to dish it. It's true.)
pipistrellafelix: (ship)
I had a bizarre dream about Arcadia rehearsals this morning, in that funny half-sleep where most of my dreams happen. I think the cast was living in a big house--it might have been Ki's, because I think Ki was there, trying to get everyone out of the house to rehearsal, even though Shana was directing still. At the theater everyone was milling around aimlessly, & some of the parts were shuffled around from the real cast--Kayla was there playing Thomasina, & I remember being horribly confused & wondering why I was there. Alex was there, by the tech table (which was up, though I'm pretty sure it wasn't tech), gesticulating vehemently in silence--I suppose he was Gus. Patrick was there, still as Septimus, nonchalantly saying his lines amidst the madness. I recall trying to decide if I should ask Shana what my part was anymore, or go try to find costumes.

I realized when I woke up that I haven't had a dream about a show in a while...I had ones for Three Sisters, but those happened after the show closed. But the last ones I remember having preceded shows that turned out fantastically, so I'm not worried. Although I should probably work on my lines today...
pipistrellafelix: (university of hamleting)
So tonight was the SPT Play a Part auction, at which Patrick & I performed the first page or two of Arcadia, looking dashing in costumes & everything (well, Patrick looked dashing; he had tails. I felt a bit like a cupcake...lots of frills). People laughed. It was amazing. & Corey and Frank performed (they still have so much ahead of them, the lucky freaks), & Kaya & Caty gave testimonials, & Evan & Tracy performed previews of next season. & we raised money money money. (I'm not sure how much, but since it was pretty much all profit, it's all good.)

Man, this show is going to be hilarious. Shana came up to us afterward & said she'd been stressing out about directing, a sort of How am I going to do this, I'm Directing Arcadia & then she watched us & heard people laugh & said, Oh, wait, this is gonna rock my universe. Damn straight, Shana. This is gonna rock the universe like...a rocking thing. (Patrick & I spent much of the night going Man I can't wait till we start...I want to see everyone in their roles...etc & so forth. We've been doing this a lot.)

...I think I need an Arcadia icon. (Dork.)

Also I have been making to do lists constantly lately, crossing things off & making new ones a few days later, & the best thing about it all is that the damn things keep getting shorter & shorter. Awesome. I mean, some of things on there are sort of large...like, "read R.C. Bald," which is a whole book, or "revise thesis," although that actually won't take too long. But there's really not so much to do before the end of school. I realize also that I'm counting June 1st as the end of school. That is really not true. I do have a finals week. & I do have a paper to write, due June 8th. But nevertheless...

I should get on that homework thing. Cross one more item off that list...
pipistrellafelix: (drawing)
("Yes, Mama, if you would have it so.")

I saw the UW's Arcadia tonight--it was lovely, & beautiful, & I'm very glad I went despite misgivings about seeing a show just before I start rehearsals for the same play. Nevertheless it was really enjoyable & I got to see the entire story played out in front of me, which any theater fool knows is far better than reading it on the page--although with Stoppard it's usually a good idea to do both, given how convoluted the man is. I even got a couple things I'd missed in my million several times reading through it (finally, slowpoke that I am, I understand why the letters to Septimus have covers that he throws away. Finally).
Their set & costumes made me pine, though. Man. I mean, we're raising money, & I'm sure we're going to be fine on the budget front, but...our budget will never be like theirs unless we seduce a really, really rich person who then slavishly gives all their money to us. Perpetual need of money for something we like to think money can't buy....there's art for you.
Also, of course, it just made me madly excited to work on the play myself. Goddamn, but this play is good.

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