pipistrellafelix (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pipistrellafelix) wrote2007-08-05 08:56 pm
pipistrellafelix) wrote2007-08-05 08:56 pm
The only advice a writer needs: don't do it this way.
The winners of the 25th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced. A couple of my choice favorites:
Everything about Randy proclaimed him to be a man's man, though neither in the sense of being the kind of man women are drawn to and men want to be nor in the homosexual sense, rather, in the sense of being a highly efficient and well-compensated valet.
She'd been strangled with a rosary--not a run-of-the-mill rosary like you might get at a Catholic bookstore where Hail Marys are two for a quarter and indulgences are included on the back flap of the May issue of "Nuns and Roses" magazine, but a fancy heirloom rosary with pearls, rubies, and a solid gold cross, a rosary with attitude, the kind of rosary that said, "Get your Jehovah's Witness butt off my front porch."
If you've never heard of this contest, I consider you a sad, deprived child, & I tell thee to hie thee hence to this link and get educated. It's hilarious. And although I say don't do it this way, I can't deny that most of them have a certain, indefineable charm.
In other news, Writer 1272 is wonderful & hilarious--go see it if you haven't. If you've got any connection with the college application process, you'll find it funny. Hell, if you have any kind of sense of humor, you'll find it funny. At the Bathhouse, next weekend only. Go.
Also, Intiman's Prayer for my Enemy is incredible & astounding. I reviewed it at TBH but a better review would probably be to say that I cried like a broken-hearted idiot, & I'm not even really sure why, except that it was utterly true. Just go. Trust me.
Everything about Randy proclaimed him to be a man's man, though neither in the sense of being the kind of man women are drawn to and men want to be nor in the homosexual sense, rather, in the sense of being a highly efficient and well-compensated valet.
She'd been strangled with a rosary--not a run-of-the-mill rosary like you might get at a Catholic bookstore where Hail Marys are two for a quarter and indulgences are included on the back flap of the May issue of "Nuns and Roses" magazine, but a fancy heirloom rosary with pearls, rubies, and a solid gold cross, a rosary with attitude, the kind of rosary that said, "Get your Jehovah's Witness butt off my front porch."
If you've never heard of this contest, I consider you a sad, deprived child, & I tell thee to hie thee hence to this link and get educated. It's hilarious. And although I say don't do it this way, I can't deny that most of them have a certain, indefineable charm.
In other news, Writer 1272 is wonderful & hilarious--go see it if you haven't. If you've got any connection with the college application process, you'll find it funny. Hell, if you have any kind of sense of humor, you'll find it funny. At the Bathhouse, next weekend only. Go.
Also, Intiman's Prayer for my Enemy is incredible & astounding. I reviewed it at TBH but a better review would probably be to say that I cried like a broken-hearted idiot, & I'm not even really sure why, except that it was utterly true. Just go. Trust me.