i think you have an excellent grasp of details. you make a scene come alive with simple one liners. i think that you should use your punctuation more effectivly such as:
*he agrees, and hugs her tightly, forehead to shoulder, hands on waist* excellent sentence. very viseral. so beautiful you should make the reader linger more. such as
*he agrees, and hugs her tightly. forehead to shoulder. hands on waist.
such a minor change it doesnt even matter.but maybe more effective.
also the dialogue is excellent except for the use of the word squabble. seriously i read the story four times. and thought it was excellent but always stopped at that word.. it seems so.. i dont know misused.
u are an amazing writer though.
sorry for the critizism it is all ment as a compliment. i would love to read more of your stuff.
Melody