Jun. 15th, 2009 10:02 am
pipistrellafelix: (come into my lab)
So....I graduated college.

It was an entirely overwhelming weekend, mostly really good though. I am still getting used to the fact that I am no longer, technically, a student. Definitions of self get interesting at this point, though also more self-driven, which is exciting.

Today I have a meeting about puppetry. Wednesday an audition for Book-It, & check in about my part-time job. Friday my first day back at the cruise line. Around all of that I will be looking for a more semi-permanent job & solidifying art & canoodling BE in order to raise funds & audiences. I got things going on. Let's go.
pipistrellafelix: (Default)
(I forgot to post this--one more entertaining adventure in life.)

On Wednesday night I was at the Rosebud (a lovely little bar near SU, which doesn't card, which is why all the drama kids go there all the time). I was sitting at the bar with my friend Andy, sipping at my vodka & cran, waiting for my payment to go through, chatting away. A lady I had never met before in my life comes up to the other side of me & asks, very sweetly & earnestly, "Would you like to do pin-up burlesque?"

(My mind says, What? Who are you? A burlesque recruiter?!) I glance over at Andy, who just waggles his eyebrows at me, & turn back to the lady & say, "I'd...never thought about it." (Tentative is the way to go!)

She then proceeds to tell me that there's a workshop going on this weekend with Amy GoGo (I think that's her name)--makeup & hair on Saturday, photo shoot Sunday! It's only $150, & she thinks I'd really like it (how she knows this, since we've never met, is beyond me).
I tell her I'll think about it, & thanks for letting me know, & she reiterates how enjoyable it'll be, & then goes back to her end of the bar.

...I was flattered? & also a little flabbergasted. But if it didn't cost $150, I might have gone. Camille is convinced I'll grow up to be a burlesque teacher...this would be good training. Haha.
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
Does it ever strike anyone else just how weird acting is?

(I could try to explain what I mean, but I'd rather just throw this out there & see if I get anything back. So.)
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
I think I've figured out why, even though I'd like to chat about Deathly Hallows to people, I don't really know what to say beyond gushes of emotion & squeals of horror and glee: it's over. See, for every book before this, there were clues left unexplained, strings left untied, plots left to be discovered--so there were a million things to talk about, to predict, to argue over whether this or that would happen or not. For this one, there's no chance of that; it's done; we don't get to wonder what will happen next, because we know. (For that matter, spoiler alert )) This doesn't mean I don't want to talk about it, because I do, & I will, gladly; just that I don't really know what to say.

I've got a few things to note down though...spoilers, of course. )
Although, these comments are spoiler zone--so don't look if you don't want to get spoiled. Those who have read it, feel free to blather away with impunity.

My weekend was good, & not just because of Harry. I did box office for Hitchhiker's on Saturday, which was enjoyable, getting to hang out with the kids & Anna & be useful & eat lots of sugar, & doing the raffle in the evening. I'm fairly convinced that if I'd lived anywhere near a circus I would have been raised as a carnival barker, because I really enjoy walking about with a top hat yelling "one dollar! one dollar for a raffle ticket! onnnne dollar!" Except I end up pronouncing it "dollah."

Sunday I lolled & slept & did a little cleaning, & went to Anna's for tea. We ate an obscene amount of cucumber sandwiches, cookies, crumpets and peaches, & had very good Chinese tea. We chatted about Harry & about college & studying abroad; on Saturday we had good conversations about school, & how you can dive in or fall in, & how we wanted to go back & change things, & how it felt like an itchy first draft that isn't bad, but could be better with revision. All of those thoughts probably deserve their own, thought-out journal entry, but they're not getting them now. I have to go argue with MS Publisher now.
pipistrellafelix: (me)
I am sitting on the couch in my apartment, soon to be no longer mine. Tonight is the last official night that I'll spend here. A load of things went home tonight; the rest of it (save the kitchen things) goes home tomorrow. I've been cleaning my old room at my parents' house to get ready--it's severely dusty in several places, & I found a spider about an inch and a half across living behind my bookshelf (as long as it stays there, I'm fine, but if it ventures toward my bed there Will Be Words, & also A Jar).

I'm not sure how I feel about leaving, actually. I stepped out on the balcony today to shake out a scarf and realized that I spent very little time on the balcony, which is silly, really. But it was awfully cold for most of the year. I'll miss living with Nikki & Erin; it's fun. I won't miss being downtown, though, for all it's convenient & urban & sophisticated; there's also loads of light pollution, noise, & garbage trucks at six am twenty feet below me.
On the other hand, I feel sort of stagnant moving back into my old room. Probably what I need to do is properly clear everything out, clean it, & put things back in different places. Or at least wash the windows. I've got stuck again--I think this is typical of this age, although it makes me feel silly & angsty to say so--stuck between wanting to stay young & childlike & unworried about things (or at least worried in a naive, unresponsible way), & wanting to jettison everything having to do with childhood, move out entirely, find my own place & be grownup, independent & the only one responsible for me.
The reality I suppose is somewhere in the middle, as it probably is for most people. I won't get rid of childhood things--some of them are still useful, some too sentimentally attached to get rid of; & even when I do move out of my parents' house entirely, I won't take everything with me, & it's not as if I can't go back to visit, & it's not as if I won't have other people taking care of me in various ways. Still. I never like being caught in the middle of anything.

On a far less introspective note, Erin & I are watching Chamber of Secrets on the telly, & after every commercial break there's a short snippet of behind-the-scenes what-have-you for Order of the Pheonix, & we're getting awfully excited for the movie. Tuesday at midnight! This week is going to start out fabulous (Joel's birthday, movie with Erin) & go rapidly downhill (wisdom teeth out on Thursday) but if all goes well & my teeth heal themselves, pick up again (Hitchhiker's opening on Friday, outdoor theater all weekend...). Come to that, as long as I don't feel ill or have really painful teeth, there's nothing bad about lounging on a couch eating sorbet & pudding & listening to books on tape. Kinda like being sick without having to feel sick.
pipistrellafelix: (find x)
I am all afire with good theater today. We had rehearsal, at which everyone was so stupendously fantastic I can't even describe...and god, that last moment today was theater magic; the music ended and the lights dimmed and Emily & I blew out the candles in perfect synchronization--& it will probably never be quite that perfect again, but I don't care, because it was beautiful. (If I hear Shana crying, I know it's good.) This show is going to be amazing. It is already amazing, & once we sort out the last few tech bits & get a few more runs under our collective belt, it'll be even more amazing.

& then I hopped a ride with Patrick & snuck into School for Scandal at SSC as an usher (I walked up & said, Hi, if someone doesn't show, can I usher? & Tom said, I'll just write you in. Hah.). The show was so much fun—three hours that didn't feel like three hours because it was such fast-paced, well-enunciated ridiculous language-filled hilarity. Also, I really want to work with Stephanie Shine. & MJ Siber. & SSC at all. & I really can't be in any shows because they rehearse during the day & next year I'll still be in school but dammit, I want to do their generals in August anyhow.

& before the show, while we were hanging out behind the concessions counter, Patrick & I were having conversations that just set my brain on fire, about plans for theater & SPT alumni & how fresh radical kids need places to be fresh & amazing so they can be snapped up by the big theaters & make way for the next fresh faces...which in a few years will be us. Oh, goody.

& on that note, here's the info for Arcadia. If you're on my friendslist you're probably either already in the show, or somehow involved with the Bathhouse, or aren't in Seattle. But as a reminder...& for those lucky few who are in Seattle, here you go:

Arcadia by Tom Stoppard
Directed by Shana Bestock, acted by SPT Youth alums
Preview Thursday, June 28 @ 7pm
Friday, June 29 @ 7pm
Saturday, June 30 @ 2pm & 7pm
Sunday, July 1 @ 2pm & 7pm

At the Bathhouse on Greenlake: 7312 W Green Lake Dr N

We've all put blood, sweat & tears (sometimes literally) into this show, & it's more important to me than I can explain. It would mean a lot for you to come (yes, you. & you. & you, too). & did I mention it's FREE? So no excuses. Please come.
pipistrellafelix: (actress)
I am sitting at the computer in the mezzanine of my apartment, since my own computer is still in the shop (& still no word; I assume that means it's being fixed & not replaced, but I really can't know for sure). The last time I was here it was September, I was about to begin my junior year of college, I had seen Wicked & Joel has just left for India.
It sort of feels like forever since then. Although I did say goodbye to Joel this morning for another ten weeks, so it's not entirely alien.

I saw Halcyon Days at the Bathhouse tonight--& wow, was it ever amazing. Beyond how good the play was it was interesting to sit there & watch the kids--some of whom I've actually acted with, some I've mentored, some I have no connection to beyond the tenuous thread of co-theatership... I feel disconnected from that, a little, in the way that I used to be, the highschool years of being able to throw myself into everything that came along for the youth drama ensemble. On the other hand I'm involved, still, it's not like I'm completely gone...but it is different. It's alumni, it's fundraising large amounts of money, it's talking to businesses & being official, it's being a responsible adult.

Add to that the fact that I was recently referred to an oral surgeon for my wisdom teeth removal, & the realization that I haven't been to a doctor in years nor do I actually have one, & you have a full-blown growing-up coming on. It isn't the fact that I need a doctor (which I don't, medically, but it's nice to have one in case you do), or that I'm getting my wisdom teeth out (which happens to pretty much everyone around this age). It's more the fact that I am the one that'll be calling the surgeon, I'm the one going to check about my insurance & whether I'm covered, or if not, I'm the one figuring out how to pay for it; I'm the one who needs to sit down with all her financial records & figure herself out, not to mention go to the bank tomorrow & cash another bond so be able to pay rent & tuition; I'm the one who, although generally sanguine about her future because she's learned that panic doesn't pay, still has moments of genuine fear about what on earth she's going to do with herself, what exactly is going to happen to her in the next few years, whether she'll ever actually learn the things she needs to know to be a real adult, & whether she can actually deal with being a grownup.

I was grown-up when I was six. I used big words, I was mature, I was smart. I stopped throwing tantrums at a fairly young age (though I still do occasionally). I was polite, I was considerate, & I was picked on in elementary school. I read books like they were going out of style--although I did not then, nor do I very much now, know what is in style. I never went to the hospital for a broken arm from doing something dumb. In fact, I was a ridiculously good child. I'm not exactly sorry for that; I'm not complaining; as childhoods go mine was fairly phenomenal. But I do wonder sometimes if I missed out on some essential things that one should do as a kid, before one grows up.

At the same time, while I am mature & intelligent & all responsible which I always have been, there are many things that responsible adults should know that I just don't. Like, how to do taxes. Could I honestly survive without my parents around doing things that I simply take for granted because I don't even know that they need doing? I suppose this should galvanize me into learning all these things that I need to be an adult. That's what I need. It isn't what I want. What I want right now is to crawl back into the quietly idyllic week I just had, & forget about taxes & forms & oral surgeons & insurance & tuition money. I can't, of course. & I won't. & tomorrow I'll probably feel fine about this, & ready to take on the world. In the long run, I'm not really worried about my optimism, only my knowledge base, & that's expandable. But not for now. For now, I push all that aside, I read Arcadia or John Donne, I curl up alone, & I look forward to tomorrow.
pipistrellafelix: (classroom)
I just made up a recipie, which actually turned out fairly well, & recreated a recipie of my mother's from my memory (which could have been a little smoother, but is the tastiest thing I've had in a long time). I missed cooking. Real actual cooking, where you slice up ingredients & have various different steps & taste things as you go & throw in other ingredients on the fly. I haven't done that in a long time. Maybe I'll go to cooking school like I keep saying I will. Open up that cafe or whathaveyou.

McDowell asked me today, after I told him that it was, in fact, the point of my triple major to be a Renaissance geek for life, if I knew what my plans for after college were. I said I wasn't sure. (Possibly I should have said cooking school, seen what his reaction would be). When I am in the theater all I want is to go to a PATP & sell the rest of my soul to get in. When I am talking to McDowell or Dr Bean I want to go immerse myself in literature studies & become the biggest Ren geek that ever geeked. When I talk to Dr. E & she suggests brushing up on my Spanish & working on translating Renaissance Spanish drama that hasn't been translated ever. Dear GOD the possibilities, I cannot HANDLE IT.
I also talked to Dr. E about my project, which ended up, as she said, sounding like she was coaching me through a pregnancy--"You're farther along than you think you are. You're really doing fine, you're much more ready to handle this than you think. You've got another ten weeks after this quarter is over, anyway, & I'm not expecting you to be done in March"--& etc. She told me to "go gestate" when I left.
(I'm still a little panicky, but honestly simply sitting in her office makes me calmer & more excited to tackle the project, more interested in my question again--I swear to god, this woman is like a supernatural academic force of goodness, & if I grow up to be half as amazing as she is I will live a life well satisfied.)

(Ahaha, Camille rocks & I now have new slang for stealing--"You don't need money, Erin. Five finger discount!")


pipistrellafelix: (Default)

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