Renaissance Girl

My lack of words is made up by Augustine, today: for the school hallways, the late nights at Katt's house, the plays at the Bathhouse, the parties, the drama, the love. I found this quote yesterday and spent a good few minutes re-reading it and thinking, Yes, exactly.

There were other things which occupied my mind in the company of my friends: to make conversation, to share a joke, to perform mutual acts of kindness, to read together well-written books, to share in trifling and serious matters, to disagree though without animosity--just as a person debates with himself--and in the very rarity of disagreement to find the salt of normal harmony, to teach each other something or to learn from one another, to long with impatience for those absent, to welcome them with gladness on their arrival. These and other signs come from the heart of those who love and are loved and are expressed through the mouth, through the tongue, through the eyes, and a thousand gestures of delight, acting as fuel to set our minds on fire and out of many to forge unity.

-St. Augustine, Confessions, IV, vii

i'm torn between eternal disburbing optimism and the bleak, lack-of-feeling knowledge that bush has probably already won. i don't really know what to think. part of me wants to go storm d.c. and fix everything at once and part of me wants to hide under my covers for four years.
you know, my roommate is a bush supporter. she voted for bush, anyway. and i was thinking, because i don't hate her, i don't think she's evil or any of that--that would be supremely stupid, actually. i don't know if i have a point. i was just thinking.
i don't understand...i mean, i guess i do...but really, i don't understand why people DO horrible things. why people destroy other people and the environment &c...just why? it just disgusts me. it really does. (i know i'm not being specific or making any sense. i'm tired and my stomach hurts and i bloody well hate politics of all sorts right now.

also i want to write desparately but every time i try to put words on paper they come out wrong. the words aren't what's in my head...they don't describe the scene that unfolds itself like a personal film in my mind. it's frustrating. "i don't want to write. i want to have written." i hate it when that's true. i bloody hate, hate hate it.


edit:
...eg the mind often thinks of something terrifying or pleasant without enjoining the emotion of fear. It is the heart that is moved (or in the case of a pleasant object some other part).
...maybe i'm really tired and confused, but did aristotle just make a sexual innuendo?

As I sat at home watching the rain (beautifulgloriouswonderfulwetrain), I realized I don't have a raincoat of any kind. I am a Seattleite sadly remiss in my goretex duties. I don't mind get wet so much, though. Rain, rain, beautiful rain...

Also I finished my paper (my parents were very much into this paper, it was kind of funny)....it was frustrating and annoying to write but I like it in the end (and oh glory it's lovely not to have to write it tonight).

I spent Saturday and Sunday night at home (on the floor in the studio, under the shedding blue flannel comforter), and got better sleep than I have in a long time. I think the comfort helps, the fact that I know I'm home no matter what--the house is familiar, it's a big hug wrapping me around. This morning I woke up and dad drove me to school and I brought up everything I took back (halloween things, ooooh I'm excited), and by the time I'd taken a shower and was getting ready for class I felt so awake and so fabulous. I don't know what happened, but it was awesome.

And now I am going to be efficient and do my homework, yes I am.

"[...he comes up out of the cave] and sees...all sorts of [amazing] things...Miles Davis cds, and..." -Dan

Firstly--a bit from the Aeneid that made me happy (oh the poetry):
"With that, her [Venus'] snow white arms went around his [Vulcan's] neck--
Gently, warmly. He tensed, then felt a burst
familiar of flame, a well-known warmth that pierced
his heart, then ran like a shock through all his frame,
as when the thunder rolls, the sky lights up,
and the clouds are split by jagged streaks of fire."

Also: Remember Matthew Shepard.

That's all....g'night.

Need it be said again I adore my history class?

Dr. M: "The Americans aren't the first stupid people in history. Nor the Brits. And the Brits have been stupid a lot longer than we have." (Lizzy, I thought of you on that one...)

Dr M: (leaning over me, as he does often to us poor students): And so what had to happen [to the two kingdoms of Egypt]?"
Me: "Er...they had to unify them?"
Dr. M: "Two! Two! Two mints in one! That's Jesus, you know--two men in one. He's a candy mint! He's a breath mint! And they said, no, he's god--but anyway...."

Dr. M: "Yahweh! That's about as cool a name as you can get!"

Dr. M: "For the next three months I get to make you my clones...I wanna rule the world."
Amber: "Me too."

Dr M: "Numbers is not a Jew."

Also today I had lunch with Chane, Felix, Shannon and Shannon's sister, and that was nice, to talk to people I already knew. Yesterday I got a letter and a postcard from Allie and then finally the letter than Emily sent to my house, and today I got a letter from Claire and a postcard from Rebecca, so masses of mail making me v. happy.
Danica and I went shopping, and had feta cheese to put on our salads tonight, and brownies for dessert...mmm...plus other snack foods, because a dorm room is not complete without them.
And now, while all I really want to do is finish Howl's Moving Castle and then read Shoebox, I have two hundred pages of the Odyssey to read by Thursday, and about twenty pages of Jones for tomorrow (Atomists, so I should rip through that fairly quickly). Reading is getting insane...will get insaner. Cripes.
Other than having too much dressing on my salad and too much mayo on my sandwich, though, life is good.

Also, this is amusingly and dsitrubingly apt:

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	Dark and cut short.
Clothes:	Long, super cool trenchcoats.
Powers:	Dragon taming
Special Features:	Wings
Sidekick:	A wise-ass little demon.
Attitude:	Happy, bouncy, too hyper for it to be heathly.
Weapon:	Sword
Quiz created with MemeGen!

And for the other me (NCPS Elanor), also weirdly apt...

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	Rediculously long, always flowing.
Clothes:	Simple, comfortable, everyday clothes.
Powers:	Elemental control
Special Features:	Wings
Sidekick:	Your best friend.
Attitude:	Upbeat and cheerful.
Weapon:	Wrist blades
Quiz created with MemeGen!

For World of Cheesecake Lia:

Generate your Anime Style by Jena-su
Name:
Hair:	Naturally multi-coloured.
Clothes:	Leather, belts, chains, bondage pants, collars, and tight shirts.
Powers:	Light magic
Special Features:	Random tattoo(s)
Sidekick:	Small fluffy animal that talks...usually too much.
Attitude:	Bouncy one minute, murderous the next. No one knows when you're going to mood-swing next.
Weapon:	Wrist blades
Quiz created with MemeGen!

The quizmakers know your soul....