*argh!*

I am so frustrated. I don't want to be reading Aquinas, or the Bible, or muddling through dividing polynomials, or reaserching Balthild and anonymous nuns. I walked into the fine arts building today, talking to Elaine, and wandered over to see if there was anything new on the theater front--there wasn't, of course, but I picked up a Utrecht sale catalog and was flipping through it and realized, I want to do all this instead. Right now. I want to make messy art--huge, wild and crazy colorful paintings on enourmous cavasses I have to stand on footstools to reach the top of. I want to scribble with prismacolors and charcoal and draw-what-I-see and I want to see everything. I want to dance--now that I'm actually getting this salsa thing I want to go every night, not just Wednesdays. And I want to dance tap, and dance Irish, and just put on music and dance crazy. I want to do theater--oh God, I need to do theater--I ushered last night and while I enjoyed the show it was positively painful not to be involved, because I know I won't be for a long time. I want to play Ultimate outside, even though it's cold, I want to run around and throw things at people. I want to draw muddly little pictures in sharpie. I want to learn to play the drums, or something equally loud and rhythmic and annoying to the neighbors. I want to do anything that isn't here, what I'm doing now. I do. not. want. to. be. here. Agh!

Now I've gotten that out of my system (yeah right) I have to go write a paper for my two o clock class. Bugger.

snogging, out of left field.

( the consequences of office parties, apparently )