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For the grammar whores on my list: when talking of concentrating on one's studies, does one "pore over" books or "pour over" them? Neither of those looks right to me. (Also, I am still apparently unable to get "affect" & "effect" right. I'm a grammar whore with strange disabilities.)
Reading Atonement (Ian McEwan) for Lit now--it's a little strange, but very interesting. The girl who is mostly narrating, 13-year-old Briony, is fascinating--she reminds me a lot of me, especially me when I was thirteen, but even me now, or perhaps me now wanting to be me when I was thirteen, only with what I know now. (Though that sounds appealing, I think there'd be something oddly wrong about that.)
The cost of oblivious daydreaming was always this moment of return, the realignment with what had been before and now seemed a little worse. Her reverie, once rich in plausible details, had become a passing silliness before the hard mass of the actual. It was difficult to come back.... Briony had lost her godly power of creation, but it was only at this moment of return that the loss became evident; part of a daydream's enticement was the illusion that she was helpless before its logic....
It's partly comforting & partly unsettling how much I identify with her.
Andrew wants to find reenactments & make duct-tape swords--we talked about it over dinner. Now I really have the desire to LARP-fight with someone, right now--or maybe just wrestle. I've been itching for physical, competitive, difficult activity--not violence, but fighting (& I know that sounds contradictory, but it isn't). Ultimate might help, but even that isn't quite what I want.
I am feeling frustrated right now. Socially inept. I wasn't clear & I didn't know, & now I feel bad about it, but there isn't a lot I would have done differently. I'm sorry for being cryptic--it isn't the end of the world, I just feel unobservant & stupid.
This quarter is going really well--& I am enjoying rehersal a lot--but the past couple days I have been daydreaming of summer like mad--daydreaming that I'm in Greenstage, figuring out projects to work on between Spanish class & rehersals, making lists of things to do and get--a bus pass, a binder for spanish, I have to organize my computer files so I can write & know what I'm writing; I plan to play Ultimate barefoot with my friends, to have picnics & parties, to simply be, a little space, by myself with others. I want summer.
Reading Atonement (Ian McEwan) for Lit now--it's a little strange, but very interesting. The girl who is mostly narrating, 13-year-old Briony, is fascinating--she reminds me a lot of me, especially me when I was thirteen, but even me now, or perhaps me now wanting to be me when I was thirteen, only with what I know now. (Though that sounds appealing, I think there'd be something oddly wrong about that.)
The cost of oblivious daydreaming was always this moment of return, the realignment with what had been before and now seemed a little worse. Her reverie, once rich in plausible details, had become a passing silliness before the hard mass of the actual. It was difficult to come back.... Briony had lost her godly power of creation, but it was only at this moment of return that the loss became evident; part of a daydream's enticement was the illusion that she was helpless before its logic....
It's partly comforting & partly unsettling how much I identify with her.
Andrew wants to find reenactments & make duct-tape swords--we talked about it over dinner. Now I really have the desire to LARP-fight with someone, right now--or maybe just wrestle. I've been itching for physical, competitive, difficult activity--not violence, but fighting (& I know that sounds contradictory, but it isn't). Ultimate might help, but even that isn't quite what I want.
I am feeling frustrated right now. Socially inept. I wasn't clear & I didn't know, & now I feel bad about it, but there isn't a lot I would have done differently. I'm sorry for being cryptic--it isn't the end of the world, I just feel unobservant & stupid.
This quarter is going really well--& I am enjoying rehersal a lot--but the past couple days I have been daydreaming of summer like mad--daydreaming that I'm in Greenstage, figuring out projects to work on between Spanish class & rehersals, making lists of things to do and get--a bus pass, a binder for spanish, I have to organize my computer files so I can write & know what I'm writing; I plan to play Ultimate barefoot with my friends, to have picnics & parties, to simply be, a little space, by myself with others. I want summer.
