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Hello, hell-tech weekend. Goodbye, sanity. It's only half over, too.
But you know what? It's going amazingly, & I'm not kidding. I am, however, kidding myself if I think I can finish this post with coherent sentences, so I'm not going to try.
1. Nearly done with cue-to-cue! I like them because I do not really have to act. This is relaxing.
2. I ate all of a footlong sub today & then part of Casey's dinner. I am proud.
3. The second half of rehersal we did a full run with costumes & tech (up till our cue-to-cue had ended), & it went amazingly. The third act especially--this has always been the hardest, because I have to enter already unhappy & on the verge of tears, & then get more & more upset by my mama's clock getting broken, then Solyony trying to come into my room & then Tuzenbach making exhausted but fervent love to me & then Kulygin being an ass & then I have a full on breakdown.
This has always terrified me. But you know, today? Hell, I was crying before Solyony even came in. & I freaked out, really this time, & I was properly sobbing by the end. & I felt really happy with it, so there. (This might have been helped by item five.)
4. Can I just mention as well that one of my favorite parts of being in big plays like this is the dressing room before the show? I love sitting in half my costume, my hair up in curlers, wrestling with makeup, while other girls sit around me and we talk & laugh & tell stories & yell at the boys across the curtain & pass hairspray around & whisper about how attractive all the boys are in military getup (I think I would understand Danica's love of boys in uniform if the uniforms were 19th century) & teasing each other & doing up each other's corsets & dresses. I like that. It makes me feel at home.
5. And then the sad news of the day--the rather pathetic, possibly, & very personal & weird, but sad news. On Friday after Andrew & I ran errands I walked him to the haircutting place near Bartells & there was an emotional farewell to his hair, which has been long & lovely, & which he had to cut off for the play (like many of the other boys). Saying he was sad about this is an understatement. But I get to get in on the sacrificing-stuff-for-the-show-club, too. I went in full costume tonight to check with Harmony about hair, & she points to my ankle & says, "that's getting cut off too, right?" (in the tone that actually means, "cut that off," of course).
I don't know how many people have even noticed this, but I have a green (well, faded green) braided cord around my left ankle that has been there for so long that I can't remember exactly when I put it on. It has to have been after 1996, because that's when I got it--it was braided in way I never learned, by a dear friend of the family who lives in Switzerland, when we visited there, when I was ten. It can't have been much longer after we got home that I found it with my mom's stuff & tied it around my ankle, & it hasn't left there since.
Other friendship bracelets have fallen off easily; some I have cut off when I needed to; but this was one I wanted to actually keep on for as long as it took to fall off, espeically since it's going on eleven years now.
I will cut this off; I don't think there's a way to viably hide it, & to refuse is unprofessional & obnoxious, given that I'm not the only one who has to give up something like that. Still. I am not happy. I am not happy at all. I'm not sure how it got this important, but it's important. It's like my lame version of a tattoo; it's been there forever, it's part of my image of myself & I am going to feel very very bare when it's gone.
6. All of that of course is balanced by the fact that the show is going incredibly well; that I learned (haha, 'learned') to play Halo last night; that Andrew & I impressed a badass man with tattoos & multiple piercings in Ihop when I slapped him across the face. (Andrew. Not the tattooed man. & it was stage combat. So be quiet.) & then singing in bad three part harmony to Stef for her birthday, & getting soaked on the bike ride home. Things are going well, at this point. They really are.
But you know what? It's going amazingly, & I'm not kidding. I am, however, kidding myself if I think I can finish this post with coherent sentences, so I'm not going to try.
1. Nearly done with cue-to-cue! I like them because I do not really have to act. This is relaxing.
2. I ate all of a footlong sub today & then part of Casey's dinner. I am proud.
3. The second half of rehersal we did a full run with costumes & tech (up till our cue-to-cue had ended), & it went amazingly. The third act especially--this has always been the hardest, because I have to enter already unhappy & on the verge of tears, & then get more & more upset by my mama's clock getting broken, then Solyony trying to come into my room & then Tuzenbach making exhausted but fervent love to me & then Kulygin being an ass & then I have a full on breakdown.
This has always terrified me. But you know, today? Hell, I was crying before Solyony even came in. & I freaked out, really this time, & I was properly sobbing by the end. & I felt really happy with it, so there. (This might have been helped by item five.)
4. Can I just mention as well that one of my favorite parts of being in big plays like this is the dressing room before the show? I love sitting in half my costume, my hair up in curlers, wrestling with makeup, while other girls sit around me and we talk & laugh & tell stories & yell at the boys across the curtain & pass hairspray around & whisper about how attractive all the boys are in military getup (I think I would understand Danica's love of boys in uniform if the uniforms were 19th century) & teasing each other & doing up each other's corsets & dresses. I like that. It makes me feel at home.
5. And then the sad news of the day--the rather pathetic, possibly, & very personal & weird, but sad news. On Friday after Andrew & I ran errands I walked him to the haircutting place near Bartells & there was an emotional farewell to his hair, which has been long & lovely, & which he had to cut off for the play (like many of the other boys). Saying he was sad about this is an understatement. But I get to get in on the sacrificing-stuff-for-the-show-club, too. I went in full costume tonight to check with Harmony about hair, & she points to my ankle & says, "that's getting cut off too, right?" (in the tone that actually means, "cut that off," of course).
I don't know how many people have even noticed this, but I have a green (well, faded green) braided cord around my left ankle that has been there for so long that I can't remember exactly when I put it on. It has to have been after 1996, because that's when I got it--it was braided in way I never learned, by a dear friend of the family who lives in Switzerland, when we visited there, when I was ten. It can't have been much longer after we got home that I found it with my mom's stuff & tied it around my ankle, & it hasn't left there since.
Other friendship bracelets have fallen off easily; some I have cut off when I needed to; but this was one I wanted to actually keep on for as long as it took to fall off, espeically since it's going on eleven years now.
I will cut this off; I don't think there's a way to viably hide it, & to refuse is unprofessional & obnoxious, given that I'm not the only one who has to give up something like that. Still. I am not happy. I am not happy at all. I'm not sure how it got this important, but it's important. It's like my lame version of a tattoo; it's been there forever, it's part of my image of myself & I am going to feel very very bare when it's gone.
6. All of that of course is balanced by the fact that the show is going incredibly well; that I learned (haha, 'learned') to play Halo last night; that Andrew & I impressed a badass man with tattoos & multiple piercings in Ihop when I slapped him across the face. (Andrew. Not the tattooed man. & it was stage combat. So be quiet.) & then singing in bad three part harmony to Stef for her birthday, & getting soaked on the bike ride home. Things are going well, at this point. They really are.
