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some academic ranting.
Feb. 20th, 2007 03:33 pmI realized last night--something that I had totally forgotten over my mad theater-crazed weekend--that I have a paper due by the end of this week (technically tomorrow, but Dr. E is flexible). This is the paper where I am supposed to expound on theory, & talk about what theories I'm going to use in my paper to help me with my question.
I don't even know if my question can be answered. I don't know anything about it. I haven't done any research in forever; I did the minimum to turn in the two earlier papers but my academic life has essentially been put on hold in favor of the play. I do my English homework because there is homework--but god help me if I have projects on my own. I have forgotten how to be a motivated student with time-management skills. Besides that, I have forgotten how much I cared about & was interested by my history question. I want to want to do it--but right now, I don't want to. It's become something I must do instead of something I want to do.
Unlike my Macbeth project, which has now taken over what's left of my academic brain, & made me type out ridiculous amounts of single-spaced drivel arguing with our Ms. Chamberlain on early modern maternity & the power it implies.
I just want my brain back. I want Margaret of Anjou to storm over & give Lady Macbeth a good kick in the pants & say, No, you stupid girl, we have an equal time-share on this student, & you'd better give me my time or I will kick your little Scottish arse from here back to Dunsinane.
...actually if that really happened I would devote the rest of my life to Maggie of Anjou, because that would pretty much rock. (It would also probably mean I was clinically insane, but hey...one suffers for one's art. Or academia. Or whichever.)
I don't even know if my question can be answered. I don't know anything about it. I haven't done any research in forever; I did the minimum to turn in the two earlier papers but my academic life has essentially been put on hold in favor of the play. I do my English homework because there is homework--but god help me if I have projects on my own. I have forgotten how to be a motivated student with time-management skills. Besides that, I have forgotten how much I cared about & was interested by my history question. I want to want to do it--but right now, I don't want to. It's become something I must do instead of something I want to do.
Unlike my Macbeth project, which has now taken over what's left of my academic brain, & made me type out ridiculous amounts of single-spaced drivel arguing with our Ms. Chamberlain on early modern maternity & the power it implies.
I just want my brain back. I want Margaret of Anjou to storm over & give Lady Macbeth a good kick in the pants & say, No, you stupid girl, we have an equal time-share on this student, & you'd better give me my time or I will kick your little Scottish arse from here back to Dunsinane.
...actually if that really happened I would devote the rest of my life to Maggie of Anjou, because that would pretty much rock. (It would also probably mean I was clinically insane, but hey...one suffers for one's art. Or academia. Or whichever.)
