pah.

It is wrong wrong wrong to be so frustrated about something that just means two good opportunities, right? But I hate, I really really hate going back on promises, even when they're not signed on oath, even when it's just Yes, I'd Love To Do That. Also I hate going back on promises when I would, actually, enjoy doign what I'd promised. It would be a staged reading, with several people that I really like, directed by Rita Giomi, of a script that I would really like to see move to its final draft. I'm interested.

But what I'd be taking up instead is the role of the Young Lady in Open Circle's Ghost Sonata. I can't pass that up, can I? (Even though I'm pretty sure Strindberg and I don't get along, & I have worries about how much I want to completely kill myself with overwork right now.) But the writer said I should take up GS. Does that make me feel better? For some stupid reason, NO, it does not.

Also my mother is in GS, as well as Perez, & getting to work with both is a good thing. But I'm still worried. And still really upset about reneging on the reading, which I still want to do.

And feeling stupidly ungrateful about the fact that this is my problem.

And I'm sick. So, you know, everything's fantastic.