grr. argh.
May. 12th, 2005 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Cue the ungrateful bitch rant...
I have a mess of bad timings, really. It's making me angry, and I can't figure out what to do about it.
So, I got the writing center tutoring job--which is a little weird to me. Apparently I did do rather badly in the interview, but I did badly in a way in which Mr. N. can see that if I were to know what to do correctly, I would be able to do it really well. So he gave me the job, and he's "really excited" to have me working there, &c. and so forth.
My problem is, I'd rather work for Hugo House. Well, that isn't the problem--the problem is that I won't know if I have the HH job until June. If I get that job, I have it for as long as I'm work-study eligible, which means, until I graduate; it's a continuous job for as long as I need it. Which means, yes, I could have it next year in the fall (and the winter, and the spring; I'd be fairly set for a part-time job for a while). BUT I don't know yet if I have it. And I can't just leave Mr. N hanging for a month, because he really wants to know (really, he wants to know yesterday) if I'm taking the writing center job or not.
If it were just the job, I'd probably just go for it. But it's a class, as well--a proper five-credit work your ass off class, fall quarter. And I really don't want to take it--I want to take Italian. Which is, of course, a series, and therefore begins fall quarter.
Plus I don't even know if I really want this tutoring job--although how much of that is because I'd rather the HH job, I don't know. I don't like living up to other people's high but vague expectations. I don't know if I'd enjoy being a writing tutor. Which, considering the path I'm on at the moment, is silly, because how else does a History-Writing double major get by except by teaching?
BUGGERALLE ALL THIS FOR A BLOODY DEAD LARKE.
So basically I have to decide which job to take without knowing which jobs I've got yet. I utterly despise making desicions without having all the information! Argh!
And on top of all that, I know I'm being totally ridiculous by flipping out over having too many opportunities. God, you stupid girl. Get over yourself.
And I think I have a pretty good chance at Hugo House, actually. I've got experience doing arts administration already, I have good references (Shana and Dickey), one of whom works for the Hugo House; but I cannot, cannot assume anything. So I'm stuck. And I hate it. And I don't know what to do.
But I have rehearsal tonight. That should help my mood if nothing else.
And I saw a Goldfinch today! ...I think. I'm pretty sure. Right outside my window. That was cool.
And in half an hour I have to go study for Astro with Kai, because, hey, I have a test tomorrow. Score.
I have a mess of bad timings, really. It's making me angry, and I can't figure out what to do about it.
So, I got the writing center tutoring job--which is a little weird to me. Apparently I did do rather badly in the interview, but I did badly in a way in which Mr. N. can see that if I were to know what to do correctly, I would be able to do it really well. So he gave me the job, and he's "really excited" to have me working there, &c. and so forth.
My problem is, I'd rather work for Hugo House. Well, that isn't the problem--the problem is that I won't know if I have the HH job until June. If I get that job, I have it for as long as I'm work-study eligible, which means, until I graduate; it's a continuous job for as long as I need it. Which means, yes, I could have it next year in the fall (and the winter, and the spring; I'd be fairly set for a part-time job for a while). BUT I don't know yet if I have it. And I can't just leave Mr. N hanging for a month, because he really wants to know (really, he wants to know yesterday) if I'm taking the writing center job or not.
If it were just the job, I'd probably just go for it. But it's a class, as well--a proper five-credit work your ass off class, fall quarter. And I really don't want to take it--I want to take Italian. Which is, of course, a series, and therefore begins fall quarter.
Plus I don't even know if I really want this tutoring job--although how much of that is because I'd rather the HH job, I don't know. I don't like living up to other people's high but vague expectations. I don't know if I'd enjoy being a writing tutor. Which, considering the path I'm on at the moment, is silly, because how else does a History-Writing double major get by except by teaching?
BUGGERALLE ALL THIS FOR A BLOODY DEAD LARKE.
So basically I have to decide which job to take without knowing which jobs I've got yet. I utterly despise making desicions without having all the information! Argh!
And on top of all that, I know I'm being totally ridiculous by flipping out over having too many opportunities. God, you stupid girl. Get over yourself.
And I think I have a pretty good chance at Hugo House, actually. I've got experience doing arts administration already, I have good references (Shana and Dickey), one of whom works for the Hugo House; but I cannot, cannot assume anything. So I'm stuck. And I hate it. And I don't know what to do.
But I have rehearsal tonight. That should help my mood if nothing else.
And I saw a Goldfinch today! ...I think. I'm pretty sure. Right outside my window. That was cool.
And in half an hour I have to go study for Astro with Kai, because, hey, I have a test tomorrow. Score.