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...this is going to be weird, i feel.
Jul. 2nd, 2005 06:31 pmAm in a weird mood...probably the result of being sleep deprived and then watching a nearly-three-hour Chekov play (Three Sisters, at Intiman). It was good--the translation was fabulous, the actors were quite spot-on, the set was gorgeous and the music near perfection--but Chekov leaves me feeling weird.
I heard through the theatrical grapevine (read: Shana) that SCT is trying (has been trying for a while) to get the rights to do a mainstage of His Dark Materials. And I thought: Oh my god, LYRA. So, memo to self: Talk to Linda, NOW, about auditions. For serious, I would take quarters off college to be in that, my god. (Second memo: ask if scholarships survive hiatus-for-purpose.) Only I really, really need to work on acting, and I don't know how, I don't know what to do. I hold back onstage; half the time I don't notice it, but even when I do notice it I don't feel like there's anything I can do. I don't feel like I can be vulnerable onstage, and I don't know how to fix that. Blargh. I don't know why I'm thinking about this now.
I don't feel like a writer anymore, either. I haven't written anything but random snips (and few enough of those) in a long, long time. I don't feel inspired, or creative. I want to work, I have the desire to write, but nothing is there. It's pissing me off. And I use the excuse of, Oh, I have no time; but in a way it's true, because when I'm done with HDM and Hugo House I'm exhausted. Which also annoys me. And then, of course, the fact that I'm annnoyed annoys me. And writing about it is annoying me even more, so I'm going to stop. Curses.
( five things... )
I heard through the theatrical grapevine (read: Shana) that SCT is trying (has been trying for a while) to get the rights to do a mainstage of His Dark Materials. And I thought: Oh my god, LYRA. So, memo to self: Talk to Linda, NOW, about auditions. For serious, I would take quarters off college to be in that, my god. (Second memo: ask if scholarships survive hiatus-for-purpose.) Only I really, really need to work on acting, and I don't know how, I don't know what to do. I hold back onstage; half the time I don't notice it, but even when I do notice it I don't feel like there's anything I can do. I don't feel like I can be vulnerable onstage, and I don't know how to fix that. Blargh. I don't know why I'm thinking about this now.
I don't feel like a writer anymore, either. I haven't written anything but random snips (and few enough of those) in a long, long time. I don't feel inspired, or creative. I want to work, I have the desire to write, but nothing is there. It's pissing me off. And I use the excuse of, Oh, I have no time; but in a way it's true, because when I'm done with HDM and Hugo House I'm exhausted. Which also annoys me. And then, of course, the fact that I'm annnoyed annoys me. And writing about it is annoying me even more, so I'm going to stop. Curses.
( five things... )
