look, i'm cain, i'm angsty.

i just sent risser an email about my philosophy paper. i feel completely lost & discouraged & pissed off at myself for a mixture of procrastinating & then picking a topic i really couldn't have possibly tackled properly. i really need folklife. at this point i don't feel like i deserve it. also, i tried to do extra research on postmodern theory for my lit paper & why is that so difficult? all i need is something talking about postmodern interest in interpretation & hermenutics. & the library doesn't actually have two lit crit journals it says it does, so, um, fuck that. all of it seems to be impossible to find. grrargh.

there was a shot of joy this morning, though, when andrew got the impossible-to-find cd of 'children of eden' in the mail from his girlfriend & we listened to it & stephen schwartz is a god among men. mm, such lovely music.

i'm still going to folklife. i'm just going to be annoyed & academically angsty until i get there.

i've worked non stop since noon. i think i'm going to go clean my room & then vaccum...that'll help.