Renaissance Girl

Is it wrong to find one of the choir singers for Compline incredibly gorgeous? ...yeah. Probably. But, well. He is.

He was in the Tudor Choir as well, which is where I noticed him, last night. That concert was AMAZING. Forty-voiced choirs who hit notes spot on and blend harmonies like strawberries and cream...it makes my wings come out.


Tomorrow I am spending two hours playing Ultimate. I need exercise. I think it will fix me.

(I wrote this once. And then had to do something stupid and delete it. Buggeralle. And so I tried to write it again. And it isn't as good as the first time of course, but it's something.)

I went to Compline again, which now, I think, is my calm before the week. (Hopefully that saying won't extend far enough to turn the week into a storm.) It is so beautiful--lying on the quiet stone floor of St. Marks--which is a church, but has wonderful overtones of warehouse or attic--and I mean that in a good way--and listening to the sound, the music, which floats on the air in melody and harmony and descant, utterly gorgeous. Come with me next time...it's a wonderful way to start the week. (And yeah, I know it's church, but it isn't Church so don't worry. *grin*)

I've been thinking and utterly confusing myself this weekend. (I wrote this out once...I don't know if it'll be the same this time. I want to try. I want to get this into words.) I think sometimes I project my own emotions onto other people. Or maybe I read too much into their actions, or maybe sometimes I think I see emotion there that isn't. And then sometimes it is. And then sometimes I stop and realize what I'm doing and marvel and how self-centered I am. I never know which is right, and I always confuse myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm picking up on emotions, I'm reading situations, I'm doing it well--and I get it right just enough to make me think it's a good idea. But then I start to wonder whether I'm really as smart as I think I am. Which I'm probably not; but I am just enough to keep the idea alive.
Today I walked and bused to Compline with a few GSAers--I know Mikee all right, but the rest of them I didn't know at all. They were walking in groups of two or three, chatting with each other, and I was in the middle, but not with anyone. And as we walked to the bus, I noticed that I was curling my shoulders in--not noticeably, but just enough. And I do that a lot. Both physically and metaphorically, when I'm with people I don't know, in groups, I curl my shoulders in, just enough to be quiet, and I sit there. I wish a lot that I was more outgoing or talkative with people I don't know.
I was trying to figure out how I make friends, and I don't actually know. Honestly it feels like all the people I love I always did, and there was a day they weren't there but now they are. Most people I don't even remember meeting. Allie I remember, and Anneka too, the actual meetings of (but the getting-to-know afterwards I don't; just the knowing). Emily I don't remember meeting. Most of the Bathhousian crew I don't remember actually meeting either. I remember vague times of not knowing them well, but it really does feel like I've known them forever.
I don't know if I'll ever figure all this out. I don't know that I should, really. I'm just going to go on confusing myself in different ways for a while.
That sounded a lot more depressing than I actually meant it too. Whoops, heh. More later, I'm sure. Come to Compline with me next Sunday...